Many times, over many years have I heard people say things like “I wish I knew what my purpose was”  or “I don’t think I’m living my life on purpose and time is running out” and indeed I’ve said them myself.

It seems that the thought that I must have a purpose and its related cousins cause many people a lot of stress and anxiety.  Imagine that you had this thought?   How would it feel if you thought you were not living your life on purpose right now?

There are lots of well meaning books  with enticing titles promising to help you discover your purpose and of course they just add to your stress and sense of  failure  if you read them and still don’t think you have found your purpose.

This thought also presupposes that everything you have done in your life up to now is “off purpose” and somehow therefore a waste of time.  How helpful is that thought?

Recently I have been reading and experimenting with the “The Work”, and approach to examining our stressful thoughts developed by author and speaker Byron Katie.   I have to admit by being entranced by her approach because it is both simple and powerful.

Today, whilst reading In her book “Loving What Is” I came across a little example of how her process can be used to address the very question of purpose.     Here is a summary:

Initial Thought – “My life should have a purpose”

Inquiry process:

1. Q – Is it this thought true?      A- “Yes”
2. Q -  Can I absolutely know that it’s true? – A -  “N0, not absolutely”
3. Q – How do I react when I think the thought?  A – “I feel fear because I don’t know what my purpose is, I feel as if I’m wasting my life, I think that what I do is unimportant and that I need to do something big” “I feel internal pressure to complete my purpose before I die” I feel a sense of stupidity and failure which leaves me depressed.”
   
4. Q – Do I see a reason to drop this story?  A – “yes – its very painful to live this way, I become jealous of other people because I think they have found their purpose and I may even imitate them and try to take on their purpose as my own.”
   
5. Q – Can I find one stress free reason to keep this story? - A - “No
   
6. Q – Who would I be without the belief that my life should have a purpose?  A - “I Don’t know.  I’d certainly be more peaceful without it and less crazed. Without the fear and stress caused by this thought maybe I’d be freed and energized to be happy just doing the thing in front of me.”
   
7. Now turn that thought around. A – My life should not have a purpose. That would mean that what I’ve lived has always been enough, and I just haven’t recognised it.  Maybe my life shouldn’t have a purpose other than what it is. That feels odd, yet it somehow rings truer.  Could it be that my life, as it is already lived, is the purpose.  That seems a lot less stressful.”
   

This quote comes from the work of Byron Katie, an amazing American teacher and author whose work I recently discovered via a friend during My Christmas trip to Spain.   The key idea behind her work is that ALL the suffering, stress and unpleasant feelings we experience are a result of our identification with our thoughts.

When what we are thinking is at odds with what is actually happening (reality) and we believe that thinking , we have a civil warn inside our heads and the result is pain!   So for instance if  I am thinking “I shouldn’t be this fat!” and (in this moment) I am this fat, there is an obvious conflict between my thinking and reality.

Thankfully Katie doesn’t just identify the problem, she teaches a very simple yet immensely powerful solution based around a process of inquiry where you “test” the thoughts that are causing you discomfort or stress using four simple questions.

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. Describe how you react, what happens, what you think, believe or feel when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without that stressful thought?

For me the wonderful thing about this process is that Katie doesn’t ask us to try and stop thinking those thoughts just to inquire into them.  Our thoughts are just theories that arise from our mind to help us make sense of what is happening.

We cannot stop ourselves having thoughts but we can investigate the ones that are causing us problems.

For more information on Byron Katie click here

Its an inescapable truth that the results you are experiencing in your life right now are a direct result of the way you have been thinking!  No ifs, no buts, no excuses – that’s just the way it is the world works.

Now if you are currently living an abundant life you probably won’t mind hearing these words but, if you are experiencing less than perfect times right now you are probably starting to dislike me intensely.   How dare I suggest that your circumstances are all down to the way you think!   “It’s not me its the economy!”, is a particularly common excuse at this time in the current economic life cycle.  But it’s still an excuse.

This blog is specifically aimed at people who have had enough of excuses and are finally prepared to take ownership of their life and do something about it.   If that’s you – then I look forward to an ongoing relationship with you via the pages of this blog.

If it’s not you then that’s fine too.  I won’t take it personally and you don’t ever have to come back to this blog again (or perhaps only until you get to the point where you realise that continuing to blame everyone and everything else wont help you get unstuck!)

Of course changing your thinking is simple to say but not so easy to do.  You have probably become entrenched in  negative ways of thinking that have become a habit and It’ll take a little time and effort to change.   Relax, you don;t have to do it all at once and we are here to support you along the way.    You can respond to our posts, ask questions and share your own insights via this blog .  it’s really easy and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping others as well as helping yourself.

In closing this first post, I’d like to challenge you to start to notice your thinking , especially the thoughts that are negative and will, if unchecked, result in you attracting all the things you don’t want into your life.

When you notice such a thought, “There’s no point in me doing this, it’s all a waste of time” for instance, just say to yourself – “Delete that!”  and Imagine pushing the delete key on a computer or mobile phone.

There’s lots more techniques to come so be sure to bookmark this page or subscribe to it via RSS so that you get all the updates automatically!

It’s a great time to be a alive.