Many times, over many years have I heard people say things like “I wish I knew what my purpose was”  or “I don’t think I’m living my life on purpose and time is running out” and indeed I’ve said them myself.

It seems that the thought that I must have a purpose and its related cousins cause many people a lot of stress and anxiety.  Imagine that you had this thought?   How would it feel if you thought you were not living your life on purpose right now?

There are lots of well meaning books  with enticing titles promising to help you discover your purpose and of course they just add to your stress and sense of  failure  if you read them and still don’t think you have found your purpose.

This thought also presupposes that everything you have done in your life up to now is “off purpose” and somehow therefore a waste of time.  How helpful is that thought?

Recently I have been reading and experimenting with the “The Work”, and approach to examining our stressful thoughts developed by author and speaker Byron Katie.   I have to admit by being entranced by her approach because it is both simple and powerful.

Today, whilst reading In her book “Loving What Is” I came across a little example of how her process can be used to address the very question of purpose.     Here is a summary:

Initial Thought – “My life should have a purpose”

Inquiry process:

  1. Q – Is it this thought true?      A- “Yes”
  2. Q -  Can I absolutely know that it’s true? – A -  “N0, not absolutely”
  3. Q – How do I react when I think the thought?  A – “I feel fear because I don’t know what my purpose is, I feel as if I’m wasting my life, I think that what I do is unimportant and that I need to do something big” “I feel internal pressure to complete my purpose before I die” I feel a sense of stupidity and failure which leaves me depressed.”
  4. Q – Do I see a reason to drop this story?  A – “yes – its very painful to live this way, I become jealous of other people because I think they have found their purpose and I may even imitate them and try to take on their purpose as my own.”
  5. Q – Can I find one stress free reason to keep this story? - A - “No
  6. Q – Who would I be without the belief that my life should have a purpose?  A - “I Don’t know.  I’d certainly be more peaceful without it and less crazed. Without the fear and stress caused by this thought maybe I’d be freed and energized to be happy just doing the thing in front of me.”
  7. Now turn that thought around. A – My life should not have a purpose. That would mean that what I’ve lived has always been enough, and I just haven’t recognised it.  Maybe my life shouldn’t have a purpose other than what it is. That feels odd, yet it somehow rings truer.  Could it be that my life, as it is already lived, is the purpose.  That seems a lot less stressful.”

Filed under: Spirituality • Your Mindset

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